Dear Esteemed Guests,

We are absolutely thrilled that you have RSVP’d to join us for our historic evening at Sonny’s Sanitarium, the world’s first refuge devoted to the restoration and renewal of Mascots, Muppets, and Puppets. Your presence means more to us than you can possibly imagine.

As you make your way through our halls, please relax, unwind, and open your heart to the promise of rejuvenation. Everything has been prepared for your comfort and care, however… if something seems a little off, do not be alarmed. New facilities often have their quirks. The staff assures us that every creak, shadow, and echo is perfectly harmless.

We can’t wait to see you — truly, we can’t.
Welcome to the beginning of something unforgettable.

Warmest (and perhaps final) regards,
Juan Valdez & Chiquita Banana